Summarizing the Chiefs Season Since Our Sabattical:

•December 29, 2011 • Leave a Comment

I believe the last time we discussed the Chiefs on here we were headed into a Monday Night Football showdown with the Patriots.. As expected, our asses were handed to us on a silver platter by Brady, Belichick, and their stable of no-name running backs and receivers.

Since then, the Chiefs lost a close game to a Pittsburgh squad who had no intention of coming in and playing at 100%.  Chiefs sign Orton after Denver decides Tebow-Christ is here to stay.  They followed that up with an absolutely hideous victory over the Caleb Hanie led Chicago Bears, where Orton played on play, a flea-flicker, and dislocated his finger.. A real barnburner, that one.. 10-3.  Spanked by the Jets, lost the… WHAT IN THE FUCK?!?! The Chiefs beat the Packers?  Error, right?  KCChiefs.com playing a cruel joke on us inbred imbeciles from Missouri..

Continue reading ‘Summarizing the Chiefs Season Since Our Sabattical:’

What to Watch 12/29/11

•December 29, 2011 • Leave a Comment

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I’m working on developing an App that ranks whats on Tv based on a word that I don’t really think is a word, watchability, but figured this might be a decent platform to get going on.  Here is what is worth watching tonight in the sports world.

1. Washington vs Baylor 8 ESPN: Worth watching for Kansas City fans to see the guy who  might be our franchise quarterback.  But then again, Pioli probably isn’t smart enough to figure that out.

2. Mavs vs OKC 7 TNT: Thunder are best team this year going up against defending champs who have looked terrible.

3. Knicks vs Lakers 930 TNT: Melo v Kobe, enough said.

4. Vanderbilt vs Marquette 8 ESPN2: Should be a great game.  Marquette even though they stumbled against LSU is my sleeper pick to challenge for the Big East title and maybe win the tourney and go be this years UCONN.

5. Kansas vs Howard 7 local broadcast: Second to last game my cheeks won’t be clinched for.  Hopefully HCBS has fixed this Tyshawn Taylor dribble out of control into the paint and make a really stupid turnover.

Top 10 NBA Douchebags

•December 29, 2011 • Leave a Comment

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Since the quarterback douchebag list was a smash hit, I decided to roll out an NBA one.  Also, there are so many douchebags in sports that these lists basically make themselves.  The only criteria to get on this list is that I personally think they are a douche.  I’m sure we all have some guys in mind and feel free to let me know which ones I left off, but here is my top ten.

10. JJ Redick: His name sounds more like a Vin Diesel character than a real person and he is boys with Adam Morrison which doesn’t get him any points in the non-douche category.  He hasn’t personally ever affected my teams on the court, but he started out with a lot to prove since it seems everyone from Duke is a complete douche, minus Loul Deng, that dudes cool.

9. Andray Blatche: Most NBA fans probably don’t really know this douche, but after his recent bitching about how he shouldn’t be shooting the ball from 15 ft, that qualified him for a spot.  Look dude, it may not be your preferred scheme that Flip Saunders is running, but he isn’t forcing you to shoot and if I was getting paid millions to play basketball, not sure I would bring attention to the fact I can’t shoot.

8. Russel Westbrook: Many scouts say he is turning into a superstar, I’d say he has already turned into a super douche.  I’m a Thunder fan even.  Don’t bitch at KD, that gets your ass thrown out of town and I hope to god its thrown out of town to Boston for Rondo.

7. Tim Duncan: Let me make this clear first, I totally respect Duncan’s game.  If I was teaching fundamentals to 2nd graders I would show them film of Tim Duncan.  Also, if I wanted to cure somebody with insomnia I might lock them in a room and show them nothing but Tim Duncan highlights.  He may be a hall of famer, but my beef with Duncan goes way back and no basketball douche list is complete in my mind without Timmy.

6. Delonte West: It’s amazing this illiterate bastard isn’t locked up for life.  Now that professional basketball is being played in the USA again and not somewhere that would violate his probation, West can join back in, but what happens when they play the Raptors?

5. Joakim Noah: Proud owner of the ugliest jumper in the game and also doucheist hair.  His dad being a tennis-pro never really gave Joakim a chance to not be a douche.

4. Lamar Odom: This one saddens me, but he has to be here, purely on his choice of women.  Not only would you have your pick of chicks in general, but to pick a girl with two sisters that are just incredibly way more attractive is just beyond me.  Odom was one of my favorite and probably most underrated players of this last decade, but his wife is inexcusable.

3. Metta World Peace: Just when you thought Ron Artest couldn’t do anything more worthless than release a rap album, he went and changed his name.  Although I must admit, hearing the announcer say World Peace when he makes a shot is pretty funny.  It is slightly ironic that the guy who jumped into a crowd in Detroit and started throwing bows is now named World Peace.

2. Kris Humphries: At least he picked the hot one unlike Odom, but this guy has been a douche since birth.  He didn’t pick up an offer to Kansas because the guys after his visit told coach he was too big of douche to be on the team.

1. David Stern: I’m white and even I think this guy is a racist.  When he isn’t trying to get young black men to dress in ties, he is vetoing trades and just doing whatever the fuck he wants.  How much longer can this guy be the face of basketball?

Don’t Call it a Comeback

•December 29, 2011 • 3 Comments

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Well ok, actually this is kind of a comeback, I just really like that line for some reason when I think of the word comeback, thanks LL Cool J.  But shit, if Jay-Z, Beavis and Butthead, mustaches and hand jobs can make awesome comebacks why the hell can’t we? 

I know we’ve been gone a while, ever since the Tyler Palco era began we kind of fell off.  But fuck that, we will blame the lay off on Palco, instead of just laziness, disinterest and our day jobs.  When I got multiple requests for more journalistic brilliance, how could I say no? ( Just to be clear, by multiple requests I mean 3, but that’s what we are here for, you, the reader.  )

During our hiatus we missed comic gold such as Todd Haley getting canned, Tim Tebow being worshipped as the next Jesus, NBA lockout, Pujols getting the fuck out of St. Louis, all sorts of goodies that we could of ripped apart in a not very creative way. 

Though we started off strong, we gradually became less and less interested in going through all the trouble of finding time to produce the Pulitzer quality shit we put out, but with the New Year coming up, I’m rededicating to 2012.  I figured we better with the Royals about to win the World Series and the Chiefs coming back strong and healthy next year.  Plus, I’m a huge NBA fan and even though KC doesn’t have a team, NBA fans around here just need more analysis.

That will be my resolution for this year, keep pumping out offensive, vulgar and hopefully somewhat entertaining sports analysis with every now and then mixing it up with a profanity laced rant about something that pissed me off.

Hope everyone had a great holiday and has a sloppy drunk happy New Year.

NCAA Basketball is Back.. And CJR is a Pussy

•November 15, 2011 • Leave a Comment

Listen, for all intents and purposes, I’m a football guy.  I make it no secret that I believe that football is the greatest thing every created, ahead of women and beer.  Granted, it has become less fun to watch due to the referees being flag-happy on hit stick combos, but football is still the standard in which all other sports are measured.  Baseball, while a fantastic pastime, is not the “American pastime” anymore.  The torch was passed in the mid to late 90s, and certainly won’t be changing hands anytime soon.

 

That being said, my love for college basketball is only second to the NFL and the SEC, now.  The excitement you receive from watching a couple 18-21 year old MEN (none of that women’s shit) busting their asses to try and make it into the Developmental League of the soul-sucking abortion that is the NBA is unreal.  I was in Vegas for March Madness last year, making the already exciting tournament damn near epic.

 

CJR will lead you to believe that “you better watch Kentucky and Kansas, because that’s the closest you’ll get to seeing an NBA game all year”.  That statement was edited, because the son of a bitch has no grasp for spelling or grammar, but that was the gist of it.

 

This is the thing with kU fans.. They never believe they will have a down year.  They’re always in line for another goddamn National Championship.  Continue reading ‘NCAA Basketball is Back.. And CJR is a Pussy’

Chiefs Back in the Running for Super Bowl Ring

•November 15, 2011 • Leave a Comment

 

As many of us now know, Matt Cassel has supposedly sustained some sort of serious hand injury towards the end of the game Sunday.  I will admit that he took several hits during the game, but most of them are his own fault, due to a lack of awareness and any sort of mobility.  I personally wish that Elvis Dumerville would have picked him up, power bombed him and then pulled his dick right off.  We all know that he’s not using that son of a bitch anyway, so somebody might as well do him a favor.  The play where he supposedly injured his hand, wasn’t even that big of a hit, so something seems a little odd.  He either is faking this injury because he is tired of being the laughing stock of Kansas City and the NFl, or Andy Studebaker chased him around after the game butt naked and then slammed Matt’s throwing hand in the toilet seat repeatedly.  Continue reading ‘Chiefs Back in the Running for Super Bowl Ring’

First Regular Season NCAAM Top 25

•November 14, 2011 • Leave a Comment

  1. North Carolina- UNC Asheville was chanting “over-rated” when they were down 17 to the number 1 team in the country.  Forget that shit, they traveled 2300 miles and played 2 road games in 48 hours.
  2. Kentucky- Time for the Frosh to get some real college experience against my boys.
  3. Ohio St- Huge game with Florida Tuesday.
  4. UCONN-I’m one of these psychotic hoops fans that watches every game possible in preparation for bracket time, watched these guys play Columbia and it left me wondering why Andre Drummond is supposed to be the number 1 pick next year, didn’t look like it.
  5. Syracuse- Picking them over UCONN to win Big East
  6. Duke- I won with Belmont +12, Belmont is a really good team, but Duke is not nearly as good right now as they will be in March, but right now they are overrated.
  7. Florida- Love this team, calling the upset tomorrow night at Ohio St.
  8. Louisville- Lost a key contributor but have a special freshman in Chane Behanan.
  9. Pittsburgh- Solid team, but probably finishes 4th in Big East.
  10. Memphis- That Belmont team that almost got Duke, upsets them tomorrow during the day.
  11. Baylor- Also on upset alert with SDSU in part of the 24 hours of hoops.
  12. Kansas- Love this core, Elijah Johnson is going to have a coming out party in a great match up with Kentucky, can’t fucking wait.  Rock Chalk.
  13. Xavier- Struggled against Morgan St early.
  14. Wisconsin- Taylor is best PG behind Kendall Marshall.
  15. Arizona- Really not buying this team.
  16. Alabama- Opposite of Arizona I am buying into these guys.
  17. Michigan- Only team I see challenging Ohio St in Big 10.
  18. Vanderbilt- Upset by Cleveland St, but shit happens, still a good team and I’m not abandoning ship on them yet.
  19. Texas A&M- How has nobody talked about Khris Middleton going out 4-6 weeks?
  20. Cincinnati- Solid team but will have trouble with quick teams that get good guard play.
  21. Marquette- Vastly underrated, love Buzz and this team is as solid as he has had.
  22. Gonzaga- Solid squad, but nobody will know how good this team is until tournament time because of their shitty conference.
  23. California- Going to go check them out next week at Sprint Center.
  24. Missouri- Overrated.  Can’t rebound and struggled against a SEMO team.
  25. Florida St- How they are only 25 with the defense they play is beyond me.